7 SIGNS OF INCOMPATIBILITY IN RELATIONSHIPS.

In a relationship, it isn’t always easy to see signs of incompatibility between you and your partner. In the beginning, relationships always seem perfect. Most of the time we envision a relationship filled with happiness, but along the way things may get lost in translation, and our relationship can end up taking a turn for the worse. Sometimes it’s obvious, but other times it’s much more subtle. So here are 7 signs of incompatibility in a relationship.

1. Lack of Trust
one of the not so obvious signs of incompatibility is lack of trust in your partner. Constantly having to worry about other people flirting with your partner, or even vice versa, could be a major problem. Not being able to trust your partner from the beginning doesn’t look so good for the future. For a relationship to be successful, you must both have equal trust in each other. If that’s not possible, you and your partner may not be well suited for each other.

2. All about Sex
Lack of sexual compatibility is a common issue plenty of couples deal with. The wants and needs between you and your partner having to do with sex may differ. Although this is not a bad thing, it could be something tearing your relationship apart. It may not be obvious to see these signs in the beginning of your relationship, but they most certainly will prevail later on. Sometimes a lack of attraction in one way or another will diminish the sexual compatibility. Other times, it may be that your partner is only concerned with constantly having sex. Either way, you two have to settle. If it’s not good now, it will only get worse.

3. Jealousy
Jealousy has a cunning way of making itself a part of our lives. Although it may not be easily recognizable, it always seems to pop up one way or another. In most cases, women don’t talk about what really bothers them, causing problems to get worse. If you always feel threatened by someone when they are around your partner, this may cause fear in the relationship. Jealousy may not leave physical scars but it most definitely can leave you with a damaged self-esteem. Having confidence that the relationship will last is key.

4. Arguing
Arguing with your partner is healthy; to an extent. Constant arguing isn’t healthy. If you two occasionally bicker back and forth about meaningless little things, it can only bring you closer. Arguing is natural, and in most cases helps you get everything out. Laying everything out on the table sometimes even helps to better the relationship. On the other hand, having nothing to argue about may also be a problem. Disagreeing is only natural. Being able to open up to your partner without instantly being criticized is important to a good relationship. Between constant arguing and no arguing at all, there has to be a middle ground.

5. Conflicting Life Goals
everyone seems to have different hopes for a relationship. However, after a certain amount of time, you’ll want to turn those hopes into goals. If you’re the type to want children and you’re dating a guy who just wants to chill, you’re in a relationship that’s not going anywhere. Your idea of wanting the perfect family will be crushed when he tells you he has to work from morning until night, five days a week. If you don’t have the courage to end things and you’re just with him out of fear or hurting him and/or yourself, you have to get out of it. There are plenty of people whose paths you have yet to cross. The frustration of a relationship like this isn’t at all worth it.

6. Secrets
Secrets can come in many different forms. Whether they be sexual, emotional, or little white lies, they will always affect your relationship. Even if you convince yourself what you’re doing isn’t wrong, not being honest with your partner will cause you two to drift apart much quicker than you thought. Though it may only be a quick coffee grab with an ex, not being open with your partner will make them feel neglected. Talking about your secret feelings and/or affairs will bring you and your partner closer, helping the relationship become stronger.

7. Lack of Communication
A major sign of incompatibility in a relationship is having a lack of communication. Communication is a key factor. To be in a successful relationship, you have to get rid of the fear of being judged. In order to maintain stability, sustain good communication. Being open with your partner and compromising will help keep the relationship balanced. If you can’t voice your opinion, functioning in harmony will be almost impossible. An unhealthy relationship always starts with one person doing more for the other. So communicate with your partner and be as open as possible, then accommodating to each other’s needs won’t be so hard after all.

These are just seven signs of incompatibility you could find between you and your partner. I hope this information saves you from the trouble of a pointless relationship. After reading these signs, are you guilty of any of these bad habits? What other signs of incompatibility in a relationship can you think of?

WHO IS A REAL WOMAN?

1. A real woman is supportive. A real woman supports her man through prayers and encouragement. She is always there for her man no matter the condition and sometimes supports him financially if need be.

2.  A real woman is respectful. She respects her man whether he's rich or not. She sees him as the leader, her shield and best friend. She doesn't nag or shout at her man no matter how livid she is. She feels more protected with his presence.

3.  A real woman loves her man completely. Most women are very materialistic but a real woman loves and appreciates her man for who he is and not what he is or possess. She loves him with passion and can do anything to make him happy.

4. A real woman doesn’t gossip. A real woman can't gossip about her relationship with her friends especially when she has some misunderstanding with her man. Rather, she settles the issue amicably with her man without letting the cat out of the bag.

5.  A real woman is patient. A real woman does not pressurize her man either to do or get something for her. She can carry a particular hair for a very long time without bothering her man. She's patient and understanding

6. A real woman believes in her man. Her man may still be roaming the street looking for a decent job and/or may have little or none to offer but she's never perturbed. She believes completely in her man that some day, he will become successful and she helps him to achieve his dreams.

7.  A real woman keeps only one man and she never cheats on him.

8.  A real woman is not greedy. She's satisfied with what she gets from her man no matter how small it is. She's happy with her man and appreciates his efforts.

9. A real woman is kind-hear-ted. She talks less and hears more.

10. And lastly, a real woman is a virtuous woman.

How to Balance Motherhood and Ambition:

• Start with prayer

It always comes down to this doesn’t it?  The amount of time spent in devotion and prayer, in reading the Bible and developing a close personal walk with God is directly correlated with making better choices.  In my own life I have found that whenever I start thinking I can do things on my own is exactly when I get myself into trouble and things start to go horribly wrong.

If you’re truly not sure where to go, try to spend more time simply listening and less time talking.  We often ask God to tell us what to do, but then forget to wait for an answer.  The gentle nudging of the Holy Spirit comes in a whisper during those quiet moments, often when we least expect it.

•  Listen to your husband

Your husband is the only one who will be totally honest—at times brutally so—about whether or not you are on the right path.  For the sake of your marriage and your family, you owe it to him to listen.

• Redeem your time

Because pursuing a dream may mean more time away from your family than you’d like it is that much more important to make sure that your time together counts.  Give your husband and children the gift of fully engaging when you are together.  Turn off your phone or computer or whatever other distraction has captured your focus and give them all of you.  Be intentional about setting aside time that is just for them.

On the other hand, be wary of giving into the “mom guilt” that sometimes tempts us to want to be overly permissive, or to give our kids a bunch of stuff they don’t need to make up for the times we’re not there.  More stuff doesn’t make up for less time, and trying to be our child’s friend instead of their parent won’t work either.

• Don’t compare.

It is easy to look at our friends and think their life is somehow better or more worthwhile.  We watch our career-minded friends rushing off to work each day, looking all stylish and put together in their tailored suits and high heels.  While they move right on up the corporate ladder we’re still wearing yesterday’s cheerio-encrusted yoga pants.  They, on the other hand, would do anything to be able to stay at home with their little ones and worry constantly that they are missing out on the most important things in life.

Comparing your situation to someone elses’ situation serves no purpose except to make you crazy with self doubt, so just don’t do it.  Your path is your path and no one elses.

• Own your choices.

Every action has it’s own set of consequences, and every time we select one thing it means we are not choosing something else.  So own it.  If in your heart of hearts you believe that you have been called to a certain path, don’t waste time on regretting the things you can’t do.  Understand that when you make a choice to pursue a dream, you are also making the decision to leave something else behind.

And that’s okay.

Because none of us can do it all, but we can make peace with the choices that we’ve made.  And in the end, I think that’s good enough for me.

Blessings....

Debunking 5 Myths about Marriage:

Some days I hear great things about marriage. I hear about couples in love, And then there are days–too many to count–when the media spreads a cloak of darkness over the subject. Husbands are mocked, wives are ridiculed, and marriage is slammed. It makes you wonder what young people are thinking when they hear things like, “Marriage"

When you consider that marriage is a union ordained by God, then you know that it’s got to be better than that. And it is. I’m here to confirm that it’s good and to debunk the myths that surround us;

Myth: Marriage Makes People Miserable.

Fact: Whether you’re married or not, insensitive people make us feel miserable. But those who are committed to making their marriage work are also committed to communicating with their spouse and making the other person happy. both of you go out of your way to brighten each others day. you bring home surprises, you call each other from work just to see how your doing, you spend time having fun with each other in the evenings. There’s nothing miserable about that.

Myth: Sex After Marriage is Lousy.

Fact: It’s true that intimacy can be difficult when a couple is busy with new-found responsibilities such as caring for a new baby, BUT there’s nothing like making love to someone who knows what you like and how you like it. When you’ve been with the same person for so many years, you connect on an entirely different level. You know each other more intimately than two people possibly can, and you know how to make your spouse tick.

Myth: After You Say “I Do,” It’s all Downhill from There

Fact: Planning a wedding is hard. The weeks leading up to it are exciting, but they can also be an incredible source of stress. When the decorations are put away and all the guests have gone home, you can finally relax and start enjoying yourselves. That’s when the "real " journey begins. The wedding is merely one gift on a string of many blessings that unfold over the years: that moment you hold your first child, then your second, and your third… the day you purchase your first home together and start picking out furniture… the afternoon your husband comes home to tell you that he got the promotion that you’ve been praying for… making your own family traditions… saving for retirement… becoming grandparents… and the list goes on....

Myth: Only a Few People are Lucky Enough to Stay in Love. Fact: Staying in love has nothing to do with luck and everything to do with commitment. Those who are committed to making their marriage work, put in the required effort.

Myth: In-Laws are the Enemy

Fact: More and more I’ve seen women around me connecting with their mother-in-laws and vice-versa. There’s nothing as sweet as hearing one refer to a young woman as their daughter-in-love. your mother-in-law is a wonderful person. She has given you one of the greatest gifts that a woman can give another by the way she raised your husband. It takes time and patience to blend two families together, but you will always be grateful to have them in your lives.

WRONG REASONS TO GET MARRIED

1. THE DESIRE TO HAVE NON-STOP SEX AND A SLEEPING MATE: Do you want to get married  because you need sex badly? Please get this straight, so as not to put your future partner in health hazard.

2. TO SAVE, HELP OR BECAUSE YOU PITY SOMEONE: Don't ever agree to marry someone simply because you just pity their condition. This kind of marriage will sap the joy of life from you.

3. FOR MONEY / FINANCIAL PURPOSE: you are not in love with the person but you want to marry the fellow simply because he/she is rich. Think again. Who ever told you that you won't make it in life?

4. The fantasy to wear a wedding gown.

5. In need of someone to do your laundry, house chores and cooking

6. THE DESIRE TO BE INDEPENDENT AND FREE FROM YOUR PARENTS
Getting married because you are tired of having your parents monitor or control you is not enough a good reason to get married; your husband's parents or relatives could do worse.

7. TO EASE YOUR LONELINESS
Loneliness is a thing of the mind. Not only singles but married folks too get lonely at times. No spouse will be with you all round the clock. A miserable single will be a miserable partner in marriage. Marriage doesn't solve the problem of loneliness. There are countless married folks who are living apart from their spouse due to many reasons e.g. Job, career pursuit e.t.c.

8. TO BE HAPPY
you don't have to get married before you live a happy life. Get a life as a single, enjoy life, make God your source of joy. Find a reason to laugh everyday and enjoy every opportunity of laughter life presents to you. Marriage is a vacuum; it will be filled with whatsoever you and your partner bring in to it.

9. JUST GETTING SICK OF BEING CALLED A SINGLE
you don't need a man or woman to complete yourself. You are wonderfully and marvellously created. Single-hood is just a phase of your life, enjoy it, pursue a career, set and achieve goals. One day you would wish you are still a single if you rush into marriage simply because you are tired of being a single.

10. ALL MY FRIENDS ARE MARRIED
don’t rush into marriage because all your friends are married with kids...

7 MISTAKES LADIES MAKE THAT RUINS THEIR CHANCES OF FINDING TRUE LOVE.

Looking for love? Then why are you always finding the opposite? Stop blaming the world and listen to me. Here are the mistakes that many ladies make when trying to find true love. Pay attention, it might change your life.

1) Keeping a list of rules, standards and expectations: Do you bring a set of rules and lists with you into every relationship? Maybe a man needs to be a certain height, weight, income level, shoe size or IQ? If so, just know right now that every man you meet is probably going to come up short. The new guy always seems nice and shiny, but if you’re seeking perfection, you’ll never find it.

2) Being a bag lady: If the last dog you dealt with defines how you’re going to deal with the next man, then just know that by preparing for dogs, you’re probably attracting them.

3) Not knowing how to love a decent man when you meet one: If you come into a relationship prepared to play stupid games, this probably means that you’ll run off any decent guy who comes into your life. I’m one of those “nice guys” with a high income and I can see a nasty woman from a mile away. Those women do not get my attention.

4) Feeling pressured to hit certain benchmarks before a certain date: You are not worse off than your friends because they’re all 27 with kids and a husband and you don’t have either. The truth is that many of them aren’t happy anyway, and a lot of them have settled with bad men in order to fill their quota. Just give it five years and you’ll see many of them in divorce court.

5) Forgetting about the act of being nice: A lot of ladies teach each other to be mean because some of them are mean to each other. Feminists teach you that being kind and sweet to a man means that you are giving in to him and makes you weak. Here’s a news flash: If you’re in love, you’re SUPPOSED to give in to one another. Men like women who are nice. Being evil is not sexy, even when you think you have a good reason for being an a**hole.

6) Choosing flash over depth and substance: He’s tall, handsome with a nice job. So what. Does he love you? Is he a good person? Does he have good values? That’s what’ll make him your husband and not just another guy trying to get into your pants.

7) No capacity to forgive: If you allow one little thing to anger you to the point of being unable to forgive and move on, you’re basically killing everything that makes you beautiful. Don’t do that. Your man is going to make mistakes. Prepare to forgive him to save your relationship. Love is hard work, accept that.